Jumboshrimp has always been a fan of themes. Once you give something its own theme, it seems to have more of a purpose. People can attached themselves to a theme. People can believe in a theme. A theme complements the entire production - whether it be a social event, a set of icons for your mobile or an awesome 80’s sitcom starring Gary Coleman. A theme brings it all together in a tight little package.

Take for instance, the so-so months of June, July and August. Individually, rather mundane, but when you string them together, you get Summer (at least in the northern hemisphere). And you know how most people feel about Summer. They plan their entire calendar around those 3 months, the simple whisper of Summer induces fits of juvenile seizures in schools across the country.

Now, we realized that essentially, Summer is a theme, but why-not give a theme…..um, a theme.

Well, regardless of what you think. Jumboshrimp is welcoming back The Summer of ‘_________’.

Once a theme has been determined, you are to adhere to the spirit of that theme. As always, participation is voluntary. Since the inaugural Summer - 2001 ‘The Summer of Discovery’, each following year has been saddled with its own special theme, chosen is a completely un-scientific manner. 2001 was a glorious triumph, while 2004 - ‘The Summer of Menial Labour’ was not a crowd pleaser.

Regardless of obvious flaws in thinking and structure, the goal remains the same - it’s the experience that matters.

So, we have arrived at 2008 - The Summer of Yes. What does this mean? Gone are the days of multiple options for responses. ‘Maybe’ is dead to you. ‘Depends’ is not welcome here. And ‘No’ can wait for the Winter months to show its face. Whatever you are offered, your answer will be an enthusiastic and consistent ‘Yes’! Preferably, the ‘Yes’ will precede the completion of the question.

Scenario 1:

Q: Hey, would you be interested….

A: YES!

Q: …in a BBQ this weekend?

Scenario 2:

Q: Do you want…

A: YES!

Q: this old salsa I am throwing out?

Two completely opposing scenes, but the outcomes are equally awesome.

The ‘Summer of Yes’ is not about what you get for free and it is definitely not for the faint-hearted. It’s about being totally into everything. It’s about being the first to break the inertia. It’s about leading. Why would I do this you ask? Reflect on this statement: If you think life is short, think how short Summer is.

Chew on that science for a wee bit.

And - if you are thinking, ‘Well, this could have been useful info back in April or May. I could have said ‘Yes’ to so many things!’. You just met one of the consequences of ‘The Summer of Yes’, too busy having the most awesome time to blog. It is only August, but Jumboshrimp has already experienced 4 concerts, 2 plays, 4 vernissages, 5 festivals, 14 BBQs, 2 weddings, 7 birthdays, 2 bar-mitzvahs, 1 sighting of Nick Carter, 2 cottages and a grand opening of a Lebanese deli. And these are only the few details my timid manner would allow me to divulge. Anyhoo…

Start now, start today. It has been officially, ‘The Summer of Yes’.

The following is a first in a series of podcasts called ‘Conversations’. The list of the invited will span a diverse selection, which may include artists, musicians, politicians, activists, entrepreneurs and maybe even my father.

Episode One is a conversation I had with Guy Berubé, Owner and Artistic Director of Galerie La Petite Mort. A groundbreaking art space that has captured the imagination of the community. We hear his thoughts on a myriad of topics, from his vision to the trials and tribulations of a gallery owner.

The gallery is located at 306 Cumberland Street, in the heart of Downtown Ottawa, Canada. Treat yourself to an afternoon in its bold yet inviting atmosphere.

Captain Planet, the beloved brainchild of environmentalist and one-time pinko sympathzier Ted Turner is getting old. Captain Planet that is, not Ted Turner — thanks to Swiss science and his hidden reserve of gold bullion, the Tedster is livelier than ever. Truth be told, The Captain’s green mullet is greying, sure it looks distinguished and sexy in the Sean Connery geriatric kind-of-way in Entrapment, but dude is out. Since 1990, the Captain along with 70’s funk super group Earth, Wind, Fire, Water and Heart have been infotaining the world’s youth on environmental and social issues. And making a tidy profit from the merchandising and spin-off products to boot. BANK!

He has served us well, and has earned his right to throw up his size 12’s knee highs, rest his muscular shoulders on an English-leathered wingback and take it real easy-like. We thank you, the world thanks you, your work is done but there is much left undone. Enter stage right, new guy. Hit the tape deck, and somebody turn up the Hammer. The hour has come; the torch must be passed; the famous skin-tight unitard will now grace a new corn-fed body. Oscar race, shm-Oscar race. The fake contest du jour is the crowning of Captain Planet 2007. Planeteers, we got your back like for serious.

Like any other respectable corporately-funded UN-observed democratic nomination process, there are only two candidates vying for this sweet, sweet job. And since the state of the entire globe is at hand, it only makes sense the candidate shall be fabulously unilingual - meaning English speakers ONLY need apply, and if you don’t like the rules, you can take your freedom-hating ass back to France.

A cross section of potential candidates have been thrown into a Dell laptop (confiscated from Albanian bookies) containing the same software that has correctly deduced the outcome for the last 15 Ohio State ‘Little Miss Buckeye’ Toddler Beauty Pageants (with an accuracy rate of over 65%, no less). After two hours of tabulations, one patch for Explorer and three system reboots, two shiny rhetoric-encrusted mounds of turd floated to the top. Without further adieu, we present to you — your new Captain Planet 2007 — please hold your lobbying until the end.

Mr. Personality
*Artist Interpretation

In the blue corner, the Right Honourable Stephen Joseph Harper, Leader of the new Conservative Party of Canada, and the nation’s 22^nd Prime Minister. He has been leading a lean, mean governing machine since January 2006. A founding father of the Reform party and wunderkind of the Canadian Alliance Party. While driving the Alliance party bus, he orchestrated a deal of Gretzsky-esque proportions with then leader of the Progressive Conservative Party to merge assets, created a new ultra-secret (twice as secret as super-secret) handshake and rebranded themselves as the Conservative Party of Canada. The right-wing base breathed a collective sign of relief, and Canadian politics was restored to its former glory. ‘Unite the Right’ was their chant, and in one slow, drawn out lacklustre election, Mr. Personality became Canada’s first elected animatronic Prime Minister. Stephen Joseph was a man on a mission, flipping unions and allegiance for his political gain, the man is ‘change’ personified. He is the change in ‘Climate Change’. Sure, he dismissed the notion of ‘Global Warming’ and poo-pooed the Kyoto Protocol as the leader of the Opposition and then proceeded to sledgehammer existing and successful national campaigns once he was in power. It is that easy nay-sayers, you want an answer? He doesn’t even see a problem. He is single-minded in his determination. If he can fain interest in the province of Quebec to gain his office, you bet your tree-hugging, hemp-covered behind he can easily fake being green to keep it. While he keeps his ideas and policies vague and closely guarded, make no mistake…it will be a ‘Made in Canada‘ solution. Now that’s a fine tagline, eat it Madison Avenue! Government Accountability and Transparency — check! Ensuring Canadians safety at home and abroad (whatever the hell that means) — double check! Environmental problems, bring it on ladies. The pride from the west side, the part man-part robot, Stephen Joseph Haaaaarppppppeerrrrr.

Walker Texas Ranger
*Artist Interpretation

And in the red corner, a darling of the international stage for the last 7 odd years. Born into a life of squalor and hardship, a self-made man in business and politics. There was nothing life gave this southern gentleman, he took it…then proceeded to either snorted it and or shot it back with a vodka chaser. We give you the 43^rd President of the United States of America, George Walker Bush. Say it with me — TWO TERMS — democracy works people. While his current opponent may have flip-flopped, GW is steadfast in his autistic-like focus on his beliefs. Beliefs that may go against grade school science and common sense, but they’re resolute and unwavering. Catastrophic climatic episodes due to changing oceanic currents? Save your college-speak lefty wienies. While some may have naively taken every word fed by the world’s science elite at face value. This Texas Ranger from the Lone Star state formed his own panel of experts (read unemployed lab guys from Big Tobacco) to investigate into matters. And even when their conclusions deviated from his knowledge, he formed another panel to refute his previous panel. The man doesn’t know the word quit. But he does know the word legacy. Democracy and Freedom in the Middle East? Two words. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Human tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, you are welcome New Orleans. And now he has his eyes on a bigger fish to sauté and deep fry. Saving the world, that doesn’t look too bad on the old resumé. He is a man with a plan, check that he has four. You say the environment needs a friend in the Capitol building, well Gee-Dub and his investment portfolio has been teabagging Mother Nature for decades. She couldn’t ask for a better bedfellow, we give you. George. Walker. Bush.

There can be only one winner in this contest, but no matter who bears this incredibly important burden, we are the real winners in the end. Are you paying attention lefty conspiracy theorists? Your whining call for help has been answered. You see the glinting at the end of the tunnel, it’s the the beam of hope bouncing off the new Captain Planet’s codpiece. Think long, think hard. This is the best it gets. Now, using your mobile device, call now or text your vote. Be patient as our lines will be busy, please stay on the line to maintain your level of priority sequence. Your call is important to us…and the next available agent will respond to your problem. Standard international rate apply.