Brown on the outside, pink on the inside and cynical all over. If you were expecting more, you are shit out of luck. Consider this as an unwavering commitment to under-exceed expectations.

But, if you must know me, I want you to have the following mental image:

• Take the mannish good looks of Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur, TV’s Maude!)
• Add a dash of the innocent naiveté of Rose Nylund (Betty White)
• Throw in the earth-shattering post-menopausal sex drive of Blanche Devereaux (Rue M^cClanahan)
• Held together by the rapist (or is it rapier) wit of Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty)
• Finally, all that goodness wrapped in a golden brown shell…and dreamy hair.