A person can get a lot of shit done in 113 minutes, we are talking about over an hour and a half. Here’s small sampling of activities you can partake in lieu of watching Even Money:

• a few loads of laundry
• 4 rounds of eating at the Indian buffet
• read about 5 chapters of “The Satanic Verses” (or equivalent)
• a solid power nap
• walk 15 km
• fill 20 pages with obscene doodles
• spooning with your wonderful wife

I think you get my gist. Even Money is one of those Hollywood ensemble cast flicks that is more flash than substance. The only one that I recall that was able to entertain was Pulp Fiction. The cast was loaded with multiple big screen stars such as…Forest Whitaker, Kim Basinger, Kelsey Grammer, Danny Devito, Carla Gugino, Ray Liotta and Tim Roth. And they all stank. I will offer a gift of condolences to the director, and not mention him by birth name.
For those of you poor souls that are reading this AFTER seeing this movie. I will not steal any more moments from your life. Suffice it to say, almost all the actors phoned in their performances, but granted they were working some supremely mediocre writing. The dialogue was mind numbing. Who’s to blame? Me! I felt it was a dud from the get-go. No theatrical release, straight to DVD. Huge red flag for a movie with so many actors. Still, I walked it up to the counter and traded cash for it. Idiot!

I rarely react outwardly when watching movies, but near the end when Kelsey Grammer’s character was waxing some inane lesson of morality, I actually said, “Oh, shut the hell up…”. To the TV, I said this. I turned off the player before the voice-over was done and I grumbled to myself about losing 2 hours of life as I slouched to bed.

Learn from my mistake. Spread the word.