Hey everyone, how are things? Good good. Interested in knowing how it can get even better?

I totally knew you would be.

Ok, Let me explain…I have been successfully married for about 7 months now, and before that I was in 4 separate long-term relationships with an average life-span of 3.15 years. I am 31 years of age, so you do the math. OK, don’t bother, that equals me being super knowledgeable about the world of dating and relationships. So I figured, hey every ‘mo out there is dishing out advice like it was going out of fashion. Why not me? You got your books, your dvds, your audio tapes, your gurus, your Montel Williams, etc. etc. Everyone and their cousin Leonard is an ‘expert’. Go ahead and roll your eyes. Heck, I just heard Dr. Phil McGraw isn’t even a real doctor. I know — crazy! Anyways, everyone is capitalizing on it. People are desperate and telephone psychics costs money. But now here, and not now. I am doing this for free. Why? Because I like you. And I mean a lot.

Put down that Chicken Soup for the Soul and prepare yourself for some good old learnin’! Welcome to Jumboshrimp and the Guide to Happy (lawyers are ironing out the copyright details as we speak, so don’t even think of stealing that awesome name). I thought about giving it a more relationship-specific title, like ‘You and your first mate: What happens when the ship goes down’. But let’s be honest, it was stupid and not everybody appreciates a nautical theme. Then it hit me, I am moderately knowledgeable about tons of stuff. Why not share all of it? Gosh, I wish I was one of you. Lucky!

Ok, before I crack my head open and show you all the meaty know-how locked inside. I want to get some things clear. That’s just how I roll dawgs. I want utter transparency — you mean that much to me. I am a professional of Human Zenetics™, professional in the sense that I have the ability to print my own business cards and I kind of made up this field of practise about 5 minutes ago. Google returned with zero results for: human zenetic. It is that new and revolutionary. Do you know how many episodes of the View dealt with this subject, how about a fat zero.

Don’t be alarmed, relax and put down your notepad and that fancy image capturing device of yours. I will present these tiny morsels of genius is small edible chunks. Any expert worth their salt knows that the path to personal development and fulfilment is a slow and steady jog and not a mad dash with your arms flailing all over the place.

Before I continue, you might want to check some email or watch a lovely pet video on Youtube. I am going to need you to focus when we do some work. Better yet, get off the inter-webs and go play outside for a little bit.

Go on. Go.